The usual crazy

People say that I am crazy
People say that I am strange
But I don’t care about what people say
Cause they can’t see inside my brain

~ David Byrne, Girls On My Mind

After living in Finland for over five years now, it slowly starts to sink in that I actually really do live here now. I always dreamed to migrate and when I finally moved here in 2011 it felt pretty surreal. Sometimes, I woke up in the middle of the night and wondered: where the hell am I? And when it occurred to me that I was in Finland, butterflies of happiness spread their wings in my belly and blissfully I would sink back into my cushions. Finally, I was allowed to call the beauty that is Finland “my home”.

However, many people in Germany who I used to call my friends thought it was a pretty extreme move to make. Leaving everything behind and start again all on my own. Somewhere they had never been and highly likely never will be. A place where it was cold and dark. A land with a really strange language. Where people would get naked and enter a really warm room so they could sweat together. Suddenly, they all were omniscient Finland-experts. Some even tried to talk me out of it, listing all the good things I had in Germany, all the risks I would face in Finland.

The loneliness.

Mostly they predicted me loneliness… unwittingly giving me the impression of being overly antisocial and difficult to become friends with. In silence, I felt very offended. Outwardly, I usually laughed it all off. Attempting to unsell me on my dreams. Pitiful. Little did they know that all their attempts only strengthened my decision to leave and “show ’em all”. Whatever hassles may lie ahead – nothing could outweigh this opportunity. They didn’t get it. And eventually, they became former friends. I knew it way before they did… and it was rather freeing than hurting.

Luckily, there were some who stayed with me, supported me. And they soon were in to be surprised even more. Instead of living the wild and carefree life of a freshman (you know, getting naked and sweat with others… 😆 ),  I settled.

“We somehow expected you to travel the world or something, start a band, go on tour… you know, the usual crazy that suits you so nicely.”

“I moved to Finland, got engaged to a man after three months, got pregnant after seven and married after twelve… isn’t that crazy enough for you?”

“That’s not crazy anymore, that is radical…”

“Well, yeah, but it suited me so nicely!” 🙂


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