The Magical and Mysterious Rectangle

“I bet you could sometimes find all the mysteries of the universe in someone’s hand.”

~ Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

 

The husband has a stylish new toy. It’s a smartphone. The first one to join our family. I for myself still use one of those old bones to telecommunicate. So far, I never missed having a smartphone. (Look at that weirdo, take a picture!) I know that it might appear kind of strange – I study media management after all, so how could I shut out such a huge part of it from my private life, right? Well, I belong to this little group of people who get super annoyed by narcissistic phoneorgs – you know, those people who have palmy fused with their phone and somehow can’t take their eyes off of it. Spending time with them always makes me fell like a subprime being – not important enough to give one’s undivided attention to. I mean, hello, I’m sitting right here next to you. Can I get a real life smile or will I have to wait for an emoji? Even though we would then still have a problem, because my phone is too old to display emojis, so all I would see would be an empty square: [ ]. It’s a pretty square, though! Full of emotions… I suppose.

I fell in love with one Finnish commercial. I would post a link here, but apparently it’s not available online. Ironically, it’s a smartphone advertisement. The funny thing about it: I can relate to it so much. But in a way the makers of the add probably did not intend. In short, it goes something like this: two Finns try to sell a smartphone+tariff combo to an American mob boss (or some other not-so-clean business man). To prove to him that their offer is better than his actual rate, they ask him to show them his phone. In shock, they comment: “But that is not a smartphone!” and the old man responds: “Well, it depends who’s talking into it.”  (It’s an “Elisa” commercial, by the way.)

So every time someone comments on me not having a smartphone, this commercial starts playing in my head and I start smirking a little delusional. This psycho smile usually ends the conversation fairly fast… or then my counterpart got distracted by her phone.

But truth be told: I complete my studies via electronic distance learning. That means I sit at home all day in front of the computer. Who needs a smartphone in this situation?

Nonetheless, we now have a smartphone in our family. I can live with that. At the moment it is actually really funny. The husband is just as much a smartphone noob as I am. In an autodidactic manner, we are now slowly trying to understand this magical and mysterious rectangle.

“Call me, so I can see if I got the ringtone right.”, he asks.

I press some buttons on my telecommunication device. His rectangle starts singing:

“He bears a tale so gloom and tragic never to be known
Into darkness now fallen, into hatred now grown”

(Ensiferum – Tale of Revenge)

“I see why people advise you to betimes listen to something more cheerfully…”, I mock him.

He does not answer.

“I’m sorry! You know, I’m joking, right? You know, we enjoy almost the same bands and musical taste…”

He looks at me, disillusioned and a little embarrassed.

“Oh dear, what is it?”, I ask softly.

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER MY NEW PHONE!”, he bursts.

Well, seems like we’ve still have a long way to go.

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